The Mind Makes the Man

If the clothes truly do make the man, then I am officially re-making myself. I decided to make a clean sweep of several aspects of my life, and my wardrobe was the first item on the list. If there are things in your life you wish were different, here’s a plan to make substantial changes quickly.

In my case, I had a wardrobe of clothes that either didn’t fit right, or were less than flattering. I have a pretty high image of myself, and I like to project that image publicly. I have been working hard to reshape my body this past year, eating clean and working out consistently. As a result, most of my clothes are just too big (now that’s a problem I don’t mind having!). And most of what I had was pretty cheap to begin with. I had not previously made my wardrobe a priority, and most of what I had came from Old Navy, Gap and Target. Some of it looked nice on the rack, but it doesn’t wear well after a few washes.

Looking in the mirror, I was beginning to see the body take shape, but the clothes certainly did not project the image I was going for. I like to think of myself as a cross between James Bond, Jay Gatsby and Jasper Jax. But I certainly didn’t dress like any of them.

When this happens, I’ll do that

I kept telling myself that when I was rich, I’d get a whole new wardrobe. When Planet Bonehead took off, or when Fuelblue landed a huge client, or when some other big thing hit. When, when, when.

When you wait for something external to happen before you can live your life, you might find yourself waiting a very long time. It can become depressing, especially since you’ve tied your future happiness to some event that you have little or no control over.

It may seem counter-intuitive, but the best way to get where you want to go is to start going there even before you have the pieces in place. That’s what Laura and I are doing in regards to buying our dream house this summer, and it’s exactly what I decided to do in terms of my wardrobe.

Make room by clearing away everything unwanted

The first thing I did was ruthlessly go through all my clothes. I got rid of everything that I didn’t absolutely love, right down to underwear and socks. Within a couple of hours, I had one bag for the garbage, three bags for donations, and a substantially lighter closet with clothes that fit and reflected the image I am going for.

The best part was that I found 2 great pairs of pants and one shirt that I never wore, but were perfect for the new me. It was like I had gone on a mini shopping spree in my own closet.

By removing the clutter from my closet (and this works in any area of your life), I essentially made room for what I really want. The whole time I was doing this, I was thinking about the quality and look of the clothes I really want to wear everyday.

Get specific about what you really want

For quite some time, I have been paying attention to the type of clothing I really want to wear, and the look I want to reflect for myself. I started off gradually. Since I work from home, it’s easy for me to skip getting dressed and go right from pajamas to sweats for the day. At first, I made it a point to wear grown up clothes during the day, especially if I were going out, but even if I were just working alone in my office.

I found that being well dressed, even if nobody sees it but me, is a confidence booster. I see myself in mirrors throughout the day, and if I don’t like what I see, I can get down on myself. By dressing well just for myself, I am seeing the same image that I have for myself in my mind walking around in reality. It’s very satisfying. Plus, my wife sees me all day too, and looking good certainly doesn’t hurt there.

Pay attention to the big picture, don’t get hung up on how to paint it

I am supremely guilty of letting the details trip me up. I have an image of myself in my mind as being young, hot and rich. When I am exploring that image mentally and emotionally, truly feeling it as an abstract concept, I am on top of the world. As I explore the details of my life as I want it to be – everything from my clothes and car, to my house and daily work activities – I actually feel like I am already there. And I realize I have gradually been moving toward it everyday. I’m getting in better shape; I have nicer clothes; I know the house and car I want; I have the businesses I want underway; I have the marriage and family that I want.

It’s when I begin plotting how to get further along that I begin to stumble. I’ve always tended to get excited about what I want and where I am heading, and then deciding I need to “get to work.” I start planning the details of how to advance my business, or how to lose 10 more pounds in 5 hours, or how to start making more money from this venture or that.

This kind of thinking – focusing on how to get what I want, rather than simply focusing on what I already have and feeling appreciative of it – is my number one stumbling block.

Now my clean sweep is to sweep this thinking right out of my brain. I’m focusing solely on appreciation for the wonderful life I already have, and eagerness for more. In fact, tonight I am buying a new shirt.